


In Out In Out...Out In Out In...

by RDJWINCHESTER1



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Captain America: The First Avenger, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Dream?, Gen, Love Story, M/M, Movie Parts, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22235275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RDJWINCHESTER1/pseuds/RDJWINCHESTER1
Summary: Steve and Bucky's journey through it all.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	In Out In Out...Out In Out In...

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sick so I watched all of the movies and wrote this.

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

Steve breathed in the chilly night.

“Steve come to bed.”

“No."

“Come on Steve, please. It’s cold.”

“You’re a freaking furnace. And I don’t feel like it.”

Bucky sighed and got out from under the threadbare blanket. Even if he was a ‘freaking furnace’ he couldn’t help but shiver when his bare feet hit the floor. It may be late summer in Brooklyn but it was starting to be chilly at nighttime. He went over to the window where he could just make out Steve’s small form. And as he got closer he could see him shivering.

Bucky yanked Steve’s arm and pulled him off the window sill, letting the sketchpad and pencil that was more eraser than lead fall to the floor. 

“Hey!” Steve tried to complain.

Bucky sighed as he himself sat down on the window sill then pull Steve into his lap. Steve quieted down and couldn’t help but snuggle into the freaking furnace.

Freaking furnace. Annoying. Caring but too tough to show it expect to Steve. Ladies man. Only has true eyes for Steve. Smart. Funny. James Buchanan Barnes. James when Steve was mad. Buck any other time. Soldier. Sergeant. 107th. 

Those are the names Steve has for his boyfriend. But now he has to add a new name to that list.

Leaving. 

Bucky was going to leave tomorrow to be shipped off to England to fight the war that Steve wanted to fight but couldn’t. He was too small, too weak. Or at least that’s what everyone else said. Except Bucky. Bucky would tell him that he loved him and that while he was leaving for war, he was leaving his heart with Steve. 

But Steve didn’t just want Bucky’s heart. He wanted all of him. His ever present five O’clock shadow, his hair that was getting long with Bucky being too lazy to cut it. Steve wanted Bucky’s warm skin, he wanted to look into his greyish eyes and know that he was safe. He didn’t want him to leave. 

“If you think any louder it might actually come out out of your mouth,” Bucky mumbled into the top of Steve’s head.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Steve looked up at Bucky’s face as if trying to memorize every single feature. 

“You’ve said that a thousand and one times,” Bucky said with a fond look. 

“Then when will it become true?” Steve knew the answer but he just had to ask. He had to know. 

Bucky didn’t answer, but instead carried Steve to bed and gently set him down. He didn’t say anything and to laid down next to the love of his life and draped the blanket over them. He scooted forward so Steve was the little spoon and nice and cozy. Steve was still shivering, he was always cold. 

Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand and intertwined their fingers. Bucky gave his knuckles a light kiss as he did this. “Do you love me?” he whispered. 

“Dumb question, next,” Bucky mumbled into Steve’s neck.

“How much?” Steve felt his throat close with emotion.

“Till the end of the line,” Bucky whispered. He leaned over and gave Steve a kiss on the lips. If he noticed the salty taste, he didn’t say a word. 

Steve couldn’t help the tears that fell in silence as the night passed without sleep. Listening to the light breathing of a certain James Buchanan Barnes. 

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

“Sergeant. Three-two-five-five-seven.”

“Bucky.”

No, it was just a dream, it had come back to haunt him.  _ It wasn’t real. Just a dream… _

“Oh my God.”

It sounded so real. 

“Is that…” 

“It’s me, it’s Steve.”

“Steve?” this time Bucky opened his eyes. And it was real! It was Steve...sort of?

Steve hauled Bucky off of the table and straps and set him on his feet. Bucky wobbled a bit so Steve kept his hands on him. He touched his face. It really was his Bucky. “I thought you were dead?”

“I thought you were smaller,” Bucky shot back. 

An explosion and gunfire down the corridor told Steve that they needed to get going RIGHT NOW.

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

Bucky had to remember to breath. He was trapped on the train. Just like he had been trapped at the Hydra base. 

A shot whizzes past Bucky’s ear. He turns around to see a sharpshooter with his gun raised. He shoots 7 bullets as Bucky dodges behind some storage containers. Bucky pulls his own gun and fire back. 

Bucky can see Steve through the door showing him his gun. Steve opens the door throws Bucky his gun and shoves a storage container to get the gunman out of hiding. One clean shot to the forehead and he’s dead. 

“I had him on the ropes,” Bucky say.

“I know you did,” Steve replied sarcastically. 

Bucky grin at Steve. That’s when he sees the man with the blue gun is back and aiming straight for Steve. “Behind you!”

The man fires and knocks Steve’s shield out of his hand and throws him against the wall. The gun fires again blasting a hole in the side of the fast moving train. Bucky end up near the shield. Bucky pick up the shield and aims his gun at the other man. The other man fires the blue gun and Bucky fly outside the train and grab onto a metal pole. He can hear Steve throw the shield at the man and then he is right there. Steve holds his hand out.

“Bucky, hang on! Grab my hand!” He holds out his hand for Bucky to grasp.

Bucky’s hand slips and he’s falling.

The last thing Bucky see is Steve’s face full of horror. He can hear him screaming.

“NO Bucky!”

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In  _

_ Out _

Steve had to remember to breath as he rode the escalator to the second floor of the Smithsonian. 

_ “A symbol to the nation, a hero to the world. The story of Captain America is one of honor, bravery and sacrifice. Denied enlistment due to poor health…” _

_ “Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service for his country…” _

The narrator kept speaking as Steve went up to look at the pictures that he has long since memorized. Videos were in black and white back then. They didn’t catch how the first rays of down caught on Bucky’s hair. They didn’t catch the greyish blue in his eyes and he smiled at Steve. They didn’t catch his Bucky. 

Steve let the wind dry his tears this time as he rode out of the parking lot on his Harley-Davidson Street 750. 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

It didn’t matter now. 

They had made him into what they wanted this whole time. 

He was a monster. 

The Winter Soldier sat silently in the kitchen as the maid spoke. 

“I’m going to go Mr. Pierce. Do you need anything before I leave?”

“No...Uh, it’s fine, Renata, you can go home.”

“Okay. Night-night.”

“Good night.”

Pierce offered him food.  _ Was this a test?  _ He said nothing. 

“The timetable has moved. Our window is limited. Two targets, level six. They already cost me Zola. I want confirmed death in 10 hours.”

The Winter Soldier only moved his eyes as the maid came back in. “Sorry, Mr. Pierce, I...I forgot my phone.” 

The Winter Soldier didn’t blink twice as Pierce shot the maid in heart twice. 

Pierce turned back to him and continued as if nothing had happened. “I want confirmed death in 10 hours of Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers.”

_ Steve Rogers.  _

_ Steve. _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

It didn’t matter now. 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In  _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

Measured breathing. That’s what it took to fight someone like this. Or something. A man with a metal arm.

Steve grabbed the man by the wrist and hit his shield against his bicep, creating a dent. He switched tactics and went under his arm and hit him in the face with his shield. Steve did a tight circle around to the back of the man and reached a hand over his mouth and lower jaw. He used all of his strength to lift and throw the man over his shoulder.

The man hit the ground at a roll but his mask had come off in the process. He turned around with the intent to kill. 

The world seemed to freeze as he saw the man in front of him. 

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

“Bucky?”

The Winter Soldier gave a confused look. “Who the hell is Bucky?”

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

Bucky had to remember to breath as the doctor fixed his arm from where Steve had dented it with his shield. 

None of this made since. Why had Steve made a dent in his arm. They never fought like this. 

_ “Bucky, NO!” _

_ Bucky fell off the train and saw Dr. Zola’s face. “Hail Hydra.” _

This was all too much. 

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

Pierce came in just as the Winter Soldier threw the doctor fixing his arm across the room, killing him instantly. Piece didn’t blink twice. 

Pierce sat down in a chair in front of Bucky. “Mission report.”

_ It was all too much.  _

Mission report now,” Pierce said again. He saw something different in the Winter Soldier’s eyes. He walked up to him and struck him across the face. 

“That man on the bridge. Who was he?”

Pierce said that he had met him earlier that week on another assignment. 

“I knew him.”

Pierce gave up. “Prep him.”

“He’s been out of cryo freeze too long,” the new doctor spoke. 

“Then wipe him and start over,” Pierce said and left without a second thought. 

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Breath through the pain. To much. To much! TO MUCH! _

Bucky’s screams echoed in the Winter Soldier’s head as he got out of the chair. 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ One _

_ Two _

_ Three _

Punch after punch, the Winter Soldier hits Steve in the face. 

“You know me.”

“No I don’t!”

“Bucky, you’ve known me your life. Your name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

“Shut up!” The Winter Soldier lungs at Steve, knocking them both to the ground as debre falls around them. 

“I’m not going to fight you,” Steve says dropping his shield. “I love you.”

The winter soldier punches Steve in the face. “You’re my mission.”

“YOU’RE MY MISSION!” the Winter Soldier shouts trying to drown out the breathing of the man beneath him. 

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

“Then finish it,” Steve says through bloody tears. “ ‘Cause I love you till the end of the line.”

Bucky froze as he heard those words.  _ I love you till the end of the line.  _ He watched as Steve fell in the water below. 

The Winter Soldier dragged the man out of the water only waiting long enough to see if he was breathing. 

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

Steve had to find Bucky. They were going to kill him. His friends were going to kill Bucky for something he didn’t do. And Steve had to protect him. 

Steve went to Bucky’s apartment where they had met only a handful of times. One on was home this time. Steve picked up an old book off the top of the fridge. An old diary. Notes of what once used to be. 

“Heads up Cap. German Special Forces, approaching from the south,” Sam said through the com.

“Understood,” Steve replied then noticed a presence behind him. He turned to see Bucky standing in worn jeans and a beat up baseball cap. “Do you know me?”

“You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum.”

“They’ve set the perimeter,” Sam spoke over the coms again.

“I know you’re nervous and you have plenty of reason to be. But you’re lying,” Steve said as he set the diary down and walked towards Bucky. 

“I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore,” Bucky didn’t sound so sure. 

“They’re entering the building,” Sam warned.

Steve got closer. “Well, the people who think you did are coming here now. And they’re not planning on taking you alive.”

“That’s smart,” Bucky said. He couldn’t even trust himself anymore, why should they. 

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.”

“It always ends in a fight,” Bucky mumbled as he pulled his glove off his metal hand. 

Steve got anxious as the men got closer. “You pulled me from the river. Why?” he demanded. 

“I don’t know,” Bucky said. 

“Yes, you do.” Steve looked at Bucky straight in his eyes...just as the door was blasted open. 

_ In _

_ Out  _

_ In _

_ Out _

They worked together to stop the bad guys. 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Out _

_ In  _

_ Out  _

_ In _

Bucky caught Steve eye before the CIA took him away. He had to breath and stay calm. He was used to being caged like an animal. 

The therapist assigned to him started to speak. “Tell me, Bucky. You’ve seen a great deal, haven’t you?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he said through the glass. 

Helmut Zemo continued as if he hadn’t heard him. “You fear that if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop. Don’t worry. We only have to talk about one,” he gave a small smile. 

All of a sudden the lights went out and the backup generators kicked in sending a red light flashing. 

“What the hell is this?” Bucky questioned.

Once again Zemo continued as if he hadn’t heard him and as if nothing was wrong. “Why don’t we discuss your home? Not Romania. Certainly not Brooklyn, no. I mean your real home.”

That’s when Bucky saw it. The red book with a black star engraved on it.  _ Hydra _ . 

_ No _

_ Please, no _

“Тоска ржавая.” (Longing) 

“No,” Bucky pleaded.

“Печь.” (Rusted) 

“Stop,” he pleas harder. His arm whirls. “Stop,” he growled one more time. 

“Добрые.” (Seventeen) 

“Семнадцать.” (Daybreak) 

The Winter Soldier can hear Bucky’s screams as he begins to break free from the cage holding him. 

“Pассвет.” (Furnace) 

“Возвращение.” (Nine) 

The Winter Soldier punches the glass.

“девять.” (Benign) 

“домой.” (Homecoming) 

Again and again.

“Один.” (One) 

“Rрузовой вагон.” (Freight Train)

The Winter Soldier breaks free and steps out of the cage. He stands tall, like the weapon he is. Not a soldier. A monster. 

“Soldier?” Zemo asks. 

“Готовы соблюдать.” (Ready to comply)

“Mission report December 16, 1981.”

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

It doesn’t matter now.

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

Steve had to remember to breath as he ran for Bucky at the top of the helicopter pad. He wasn’t going to lose him again. 

He leapt up and grabbed the stepping bar and dragged the helicopter down. Bucky angled the helicopter away at first then drove it into Steve. Steve had to jump to get out of the way. Everything was silent for a moment till Bucky’s metal arm smashed through the glass, around his throat. Steve tried to stop the helicopter from going over the edge, but he couldn’t hold it and they all fell into the river below. 

This time it was Steve who pulled an unconscious Bucky from the river. 

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

“I know that road. What is this?” Tony called. 

“No, Tony,” Steve grabbed Tony as he lunged at Bucky. 

“Did you know?”

“I didn’t know it was him<” Steve said calmly. 

“Don’t bullshit me, Rogers. Did you know!” Tony asked with venom. 

“Yes,” Steve replied. 

Tony nodded then seem to calm down for a second then struck Steve across the face. 

Zemo watched for a minute as Steve, Tony and Bucky all fought. Blasters going off. 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out  _

_ In _

“Do you even remember them?”

“I remember all of them,” Bucky said. 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

In

Out

In 

Out

Steve couldn’t breath as he brought the shield down on Tony’s reactor, killing it’s light, but now it’s source. Tony was still alive. 

“He’s mine,” Steve breathed. 

“So was I,” Tony let a tear fall as Steve got off of him and went to Bucky. He watched as Steve helped Bucky up and they both limped away. 

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Out  _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

Bucky could finally breathe. They were going to help him. He wouldn’t be a monster anymore. 

_ Anymore.  _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

“He’s coming and there’s nothing we can do about.”

“Tell me his name again,” Tony said.

“Thanos.”

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ In  _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ Too fast.  _

_ Out _

_ In _

_ Out _

_ In _

“Steve,” a light kiss to the jaw. “Steve, babe, wake up,” another kiss, more force full this time.

Steve sat up with a start, accidentally shoving Tony to the side. He felt the cold metal of a hand on his shoulder before he could focus on who it belonged to. 

“Steve, it’s okay, you’re okay, we’re okay. We’re  _ all _ okay,” Bucky said gently as Tony ran his fingers gently through Steve’s light blond hair. 

Steve sighed and realized he was covered head to toe in sweat. “Okay,” he agreed with Bucky seeing no other option. He laid back down on the bed on his back as Tony curled up on one side and Bucky on the other. 

“Are you ok?” Tony asked gently. He knew something about not sleeping and bad dreams. 

“Yeah,” Steve didn’t even sound sure to himself. “I just had a really weird dream, that’s all.” He wrapped his bare arms tighter around his lovers. 

“Weirder than his face,” Tony joked and kicked Bucky under the covers. Steve hummed as Bucky reached over him to smack Tony on the arm. 

Tony got serious when he saw Steve staring at the ceiling. “Hey, It was just a dream. We’re ok. We’re both here.”

Steve had to know. Just one more time. Just to be sure. “Do you love me?”

“Dumb question, next,” Bucky mumbled into Steve’s neck. 

“How much?” Steve whispered.

“Till the end of the line,” Tony said as he gave the other side of Steve’s neck a light kiss. “Now you back to sleep or I’ll sell your shield.”


End file.
